The Chief Numpty
X:https://x.com/TheChiefNumpty
Email: [email protected]
Real Name: Unknown
Known Aliases: “Big Van Dave”
The elusive leader of the Scottish Numpty Party lives deep in the Highlands — though occasionally seen in laybys near Pitlochry, sipping artisanal coffee from the back of a £140,000 camper van lovingly dubbed “The Mobile Mandate.”
He communicates primarily via cryptic tweets, Irn-Bru bottle messages and WhatsApp Messages (which he regularly deletes).